This story was originally published in Issue 10 of the delinquent in 2009.
Monday, April 7, At last, Lev Nikolaevich has consented to installing a computer in the sitting room, though he insists it be used for educational purposes only. He has removed the games Scrabble and Solitaire, and refuses to order the Internet, which he considers a devilish influence. I daren’t push him. I wait for him to join me in bed; he makes endless spreadsheets concerning every aspect of life on the estate.
Thursday, April 10, Lev has not stopped using the computer. He no longer dines with the family. He prefers to eat tins of Mr. Peanut, which he has decided is the true food of the honest working man. Illya and Misha use the machines at the homes of their friends to type their essays for class. When I pointed this out to Lev he screamed at me that he was going to take all of the children out of school and teach them himself from home. To-day he placed a note on the computer forbidding everyone in the house from using it.
Monday, April 14, Lev has ordered the Internet. He was in such a state awaiting the arrival of the cable man that he prowled the halls all night. After it was installed, Lev and the cable man spent hours in the kitchen drinking vodka. Lev has proclaimed him to be one of the wisest men he has ever met.
Friday, April 18, I despair. He is on it day and night, bathed in a terrible glow. He peruses government documents, studies the Greek alphabet, and writes to counsel the miscreants and grotesques who have contacted him thanks to this dreadful machine. Why, I ask you, Lev Nikolaevich, who until this demoniac box destroyed our lives devotedly read my diary, why have you turned your back on your ever Loving and Faithful wife to preach the gospels of our Lord to the strangers at meet2cheat? Why?
-My dear, you are not sound. It astounds me how you love torture yourself, and I pray that if you do not find the peace you seek in this, our earthly world, that you will find it in the second. Lev Nikolaevich.
Tuesday, April 22, Another violent quarrel. Lev has become obsessed with a pile of garbage that floats in the Pacific Ocean which he says is as big as two Americas. He came into the kitchen raving that he is going to fill the grounds of the estate with rapeseeds, which will be used to make ethanol fuel to power cars. A man called Vladimir Grigorevich has moved in. He says that Lev Nikolaevich poured his heart out to him on meet2cheat and he is here to paint.
Monday, May 12, Lev has gotten involved with some Christians in Kansas. He has thrown himself into the organization of a father daughter dance, and insists that he will be flying to Wichita with Sasha and Masha to attend. They are calling it The Purity Ball. The oak trees Lev climbed as a boy have been cut down and the rapeseed fields have been planted. Our beautiful grounds are now a shocking yellow, as far as the eye can see. The new disciple Grigorevich has painted a ridiculous portrait of Lev inspecting his neon property dressed like Mr. Peanut, which Lev raves is as good as a work by Magritte.
Thursday, May 15, I have discovered that the dance is a ceremony where daughters stand before the room and pledge to remain virgins while their father’s slip rings on their fingers like they are husbands! I screamed at Lev Nikolaevich that he might have set a better example not having babies with the women who work on our estate! That his behavior disgusts me! Lev Nikolaevich pushed his chair back from the table and announced that he was moving to Argentina. My spies tell me that he’s staying in an Econo Lodge by the airport.