In 1995, future pick-up artist Neil Strauss interviewed the musician Dave Pirner in a hotel in Austin Texas, where the Soul Asylum front man pondered the legacy of ancient Greece.
“But look, Socrates was fucking Greek, man. I mean, what influence has that culture had on us as people now? Those wrapped-up leaves with rice in them …I mean, that shit doesn’t taste that good, but it tastes pretty good. And you kind of sit there, and you eat it, and you go, ‘All right, these motherfuckers, they ate this shit, and they made a bunch of motherfuckers drag fucking rocks up a hill to build some big old colossal thing. And they tried to create this whole society.’ And what was the food left over from that? These fucking grape leaves wrapped around rice.”
Neil Strauss, ‘Soul Asylum: A Hard Dazed Night’, Rolling Stone, June 29, 1995.
In the window of an antique shop on Avenida João Crisóstomo in Lisbon, framed photographs of Elizabeth Taylor and George and Amal Clooney. There is no storefront on this earth that could not be improved with a picture of Elizabeth Taylor.
The singer Liza Minnelli married concert promoter David Guest on March 16, 2002. They separated a little over a year later, and things turned acrimonious pretty quickly. But it was by all accounts quite a wedding. Elizabeth Taylor was the matron of honour and Michael Jackson was the best man. My father’s friend was one of the many attendees and was kind enough to bring me back some souvenirs: a heart-shaped box of chocolates and an American flag pin wrapped in an AIDS ribbon, with their names and wedding date embossed in gold.
Readers seeking to understand how the world really works would do well to consult the website Vigilant Citizen. Recent posts include How “Spectre” is Really About James Bond Being a Tool of the Occult Elite and The Occult Symbolism of the Los Angeles Central Library. Vigilant Citizen has recently deconstructed the Taylor Swift video Look What You Made Me Do (“a blatantly obvious Monarch [mind programming] manifesto”) .
“The symbolism of the video,” the website explains, “Directly refers to the sinister side of the entertainment industry and its obsession with mind control… Newsflash: The entertainment industry is full of Beta Kittens (brainwashed sex slaves trafficked in the elite underworld). Newsflash: The elite brags about this in mass media using the likes of Taylor Swift.”
Millions of pages of Hypertext Markup Language have been created to explore the theory that Taylor Swift is a clone of Zeena Lavey, the daughter of Anton Lavey, founder of the Church of Satan. Not many children of the 1980s managed to evade the trauma of seeing Anton’s face glowering up at them from the cover of The Satanic Bible on the New Age rack in W. H. Smith. Throughout this Satanism-obsessed decade, Zeena appeared as her father’s proxy on The Phil Donahue Show, Nightline, Entertainment Tonight, and Sally Jesse Raphael. This string of television appearances culminated with her participation in a one-off Geraldo Rivera special, Devil Worship: Exposing Satan’s Underground. I miss the eighties.
A comment made by a reader named ‘Hopeclouds” beneath the Vigilant Citizen Post outlining “The Sinister Meaning of Taylor Swift’s Look What You Made Me Do” goes one better.
Disgraced cheating website Ashley Madison surveyed its members and discovered the most popular places for adulterous dates are chain restaurants at least twenty miles from home.
9. Red Lobster
8. Outback Steakhouse
6. Del Frisco’s
5. The Cheesecake Factory
4. P.F. Chang’s
2. Ruth’s Chris Steak House
1. Morton’s The Steakhouse
In 2004, the screenwriter and director Paul Haggis visited the set of War of the Worlds. At the time, Haggis and Tom Cruise were Scientology’s two most famous disciples. Haggis told the author Lawrence Wright that a tent where Scientology materials were distributed was erected on the set, and recounted a conversation he’d had with War‘s director, Steven Spielberg.
“It’s really remarkable to me that I’ve met all these Scientologists, and they seem like the nicest people,” Spielberg told Haggis, who quipped, “Yeah, we keep all the evil ones in a closet.”
About an hour into War of the Worlds, an extra bearing a resemblance to Haggis is briefly on camera. Is it him? Twenty rewinds and three screenshots have borne no conclusive proof.