The Wisdom of Mick Mars

File:Mick Mars 2005.jpgMötley Crüe’s 2002 oral history The Dirt deserves its notoriety. Gentle readers are forced to reconsider the uses of Christmas trees, cat litter boxes, and hotel room telephones. Lead guitarist Mick Mars’ chapters were all highlights. 

“I was born B.A.D.–Bob Alan Deal.’

“Everyone likes to look for aliens, but I think we are the aliens. We’re the descendants of the troublemakers on other planets, just like Australia was a prison to England… This is where they dropped us off. We’re the insane fucking people from somewhere else, just a bunch of trash.”

“I question a lot of things and form my own opinions. They’re just as valid as a rocket scientist’s or anyone else’s. Who says you have to believe something because you read it in a book or saw pictures. Who is it that gets to say, ‘That’s the way it is’?”

“To quote Andy Warhol, ‘Everybody has fifteen minutes of fame.’ To quote myself, ‘I wish they didn’t.'”

“Have you ever had anyone call the police or security or security or your landlord on you for playing your music too loud? How can such a beautiful thing be pissed on so much? If you’re at home playing a good album, and some nosy-ass neighbor claims he can’t hear his TV, why does your music have to suffer so he can watch his TV? I say, ‘Too bad for the neighbor.'”

“People who have had near-death experiences always say they enter a tunnel, and at the end of the tunnel there is a light. I like to think that when you die, you go through the tunnel, and when you get to the other end, you are reborn. The tunnel is the birth canal, and the light at the end of the tunnel is the hospital maternity ward, where your new life awaits. you.”

“When you get older, you worry about death and your own mortality a lot more than when you’re younger. However, with cloning (which I’m sure has already been done with humans in secret), we’re just one step away from scientific resurrection for the chosen ones (that is, the rich).”

“Grown men who cry in the middle of a fucking crisis will die, because you can bet your ass that the enemy won’t be crying. They’ll be killing your weak ass while you cry!”

“Every person in the world has good qualities and shortcomings. And I guess we started making the mistake of focusing on the shortcomings of each person instead of looking at what their best asset was and what they contributed to the band.”

“And speaking of dinosaurs, what yuppie asshole decided that they should be depicted in all these bright, brilliant colors? Was it Martha Stewart? Clearly, we have reconstructed dinosaurs from bones, so there is no evidence that they were the colors of kids’ toys.”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that overconfidence is the same thing as arrogance.”

Excerpted from Motley Crue: The Dirt, Harper Collins, 2001.

Photo: Alec MacKellaig