Slash’s Tips for Gracious Living

Screenshot (1332)“That’s a wonderful side effect of leather pants: when you pee yourself in them, they’re more forgiving than jeans.”

“He had been hired to turn my extra bathroom and its huge corner Jacuzzi into a massive snake terrarium that took up a quarter of the room. He was going to build glass walls from the floor to the skylight to enclose the tub, which was elevated, plus add a set of Plexiglass stairs so that you could see my pets wherever they might be. I couldn’t wait to fill it with trees and all the other shit that snakes like. In the Walnut House I kept about ninety snakes and reptiles: I had lizards, caimans, all kinds of animals. When the work was done and I finally moved into the Walnut House, I commemorated it by getting really high.”

“Here’s how we spent our time: I’d get up in the morning and fucking lie on the floor and drink vodka and smoke cigarettes until she got up… I watched a lot of cooking shows; The Galloping Gourmet, Great Chefs of the East and West, and The Food Network. It was the start of a lifelong obsession with cooking shows, though to this day, I don’t cook at all.”

“I’d wake up in the morning and fill a Solo cup 85 percent full with vodka, ice, and a bit of cranberry juice. I called it breakfast of champions. Duff was in the same league, though I believe that he made a fresh drink, packed it with ice, before he went to bed and left it next to his pillow; that way the ice would keep it cold enough while he slept that it would still be nice and fresh first thing in the morning.”

“We’d go down to one of those big public YMCAs with our security guard, Earl, to pump iron. We’d be doing there in our jeans, doing sets between cigarette breaks– it was invigorating. We’d usually cool down afterward with cocktails at a sports bar.”

Slash, Slash with Anthony Bozza, Harper Collins, 2007.